sara without an h

award.

today i received my very first blog award. thanks, GRETCHEN! as the recipient of the blog with substance award, i am supposed to share 5 words that sum up my blog philosophy/motivation. -education -family -community -friendships -SYLVIA (she is the reason i began writing this, after all.) i am also supposed to pass this award onto 10 other bloggers with substance. like gretchen, i am going to cheat a little and pass this award onto 3 exceptionally substantial bloggers. -jess at hello sunshine -kim at crossy -allie at it's a wonderful life i'm going to take it easy for the rest of the evening. today we sorted laundry, ran a bunch of errands, and hung sylvie's mobile (pictures coming soon)! i'm about spent. i hope everyone has a fantastic evening. happy wednesday!

due date.

my official due date is august 31st. travis and i have had fun guessing when little s will make her big debut. for no reason in particular the dates august 24th and september 4th have been stuck in my head. call it intuition if you like. it's the same feeling i got, early on, when i just knew we were going to have a girl. if i had to guess, i would put my money on one of the those two days. what's your best guess?

[polldaddy poll=3274092]

we also spend a lot of time talking about what she'll look like. we did a rough punnett square to determine her eye color and got a 50/50 chance of her having either blue or brown eyes. i have a feeling, perhaps more intuition, that she will have her dad's dark hair and eyes and my pale skin. what do you think her hair and eye colors will be?

[polldaddy poll=3274144]

travis and i have a rare evening off together tonight. we're going to spend it eating popcorn and watching lost. i hope everyone has a very happy saturday night!

time (is never time enough).

i had a minor freak-out last night when i realized sylvie could be here, full-term and perfectly healthy, in as little as 12 weeks. WHERE HAS THE TIME GONE? riddle me that, time bandit! i'm excited as all get out for her big debut, but i can't help but harbor a little bit of sadness. she will never depend on me in this way again. this really hit me in bed last night, as i sat with my hand on my stomach and felt her first set of hiccups. subtle, rhythmic and soft as whispers. already time is escaping me, as time often does. i hope i remember this lesson when she is in my arms. in the haze and stupor that is new parenthood, i hope i remember to take a moment each day to cherish her for the baby she will be for such a short time. as the daily nausea and headaches have given way to kicks and hiccups, i find more and more that i LOVE being pregnant. this has truly been the "honeymoon" trimester i've heard so much about. everyday i watch my middle grow and change, jump and twitch. i am in awe of what i am capable of. it is so much more than i ever thought. this pregnancy has taught me to never sell myself short. i have always been my toughest critic and have abandoned projects out of sheer frustration more times than i care to count or admit. i may never be a great bassist, a gifted seamstress or as organized as i should be, but none of that matters now. right now, as i feel my unborn daughter do a tap dance routine on my bladder worthy of vera ellen, i know that she is thriving. she is thriving because of me. she is my greatest accomplishment, one which i vow to never abandon even after the most frustrating days. i have a greater respect than ever for my parents, for my husband's parents, for fathers and mothers everywhere. even though i love my husband beyond all limit and measure, i feel i know true love for the first time. it is having both purposeful conviction and serene contentment at once. baby girl, my little sylvie, i love you so much.

sylvia ' s namesake.

my nana. wasn't she beautiful? i wish i had known her better.

mother ' s day.

tomorrow (technically today) is my first mother's day. i know travis has some surprises up his sleeve, and i'm excited to find out what they are! i would give my left arm right about now for a cold beer and some sushi, but that ain't happenin' anytime soon. i'll settle for a glass of pomegranate juice and a foot rub, please. on a different note, it hit me today that i'm only a few weeks away from my third and final trimester. i'm really starting to feel the urge to nest and get little sylvie's nursery nook ready for her arrival. speaking of her arrival, is it strange that i'm really excited to labor and give birth? like, REALLY excited. i have never felt better about or more secure in my body. nor have i ever felt unsure of its ability to birth this child, my precious daughter. i feel STRONG and ready. i've felt like this from the beginning and keep thinking i'll change my tune as august 31st approaches, but everyday i remain steadfast in my decision to attempt a natural birth. this is what my body was made to do. not only do i think i can do it, i think i can ROCK it! i'm so excited to meet my sylvie.

the ultrasound.

it's taken me a week to write this post, to properly do the experience justice.  my ultrasound last friday was the most amazing, magical 30 minutes of my life.  i saw my daughter, really saw her, for the first time.  the last time i got to take a peak at her i was barely 8 weeks, and she still resembled a kidney bean with t-rex arms.  this time, however, she was my little girl.  she was my perfect, beautiful little sylvie.  she was difficult, vibrant, stubborn, and a bit of a ham.  she used my bladder as a punching bag and mooned us all more times than i can count.  she is a perfect little challenge.  is there any doubt who she takes after already?  i hope there are some of her father's better qualities lurking in there, otherwise we're in trouble! the ultrasound technician was great.  she took her time, and measured everything carefully, saving the big reveal for last.  luckily, she had been paying attention the entire time because when it came time to get a good look, sylvie would NOT cooperate.  she had her feet behind her ears and her legs firmly closed.  you see that big, round circle there by her feet?  yep.  that's the top of her head. i said something to the effect of, "this baby's modest.  at least i know i'm not giving birth to the next paris hilton!"  after a little more looking around, the tech answered, "modesty is especially important when you're having a girl."  it took me a second to process exactly what she said. "it's a...girl?" "yes." i immediately burst into tears.  big, body shaking, spastic tears of pure joy.  i really didn't think i was going to cry.  i tend to stay very calm during big events.  i didn't cry at our wedding, and i was so sure i would.  i think the combination of raw emotion, hormones, and a full punching bag of a bladder did me in.  my intuition was right all along.  A GIRL.  travis had me doubting it when he woke up two days before the appointment, so sure it was a boy.  i just...KNEW from the day we found out i was pregnant..  i don't know how or why. ******** my mom gave me this necklace, which belonged to my nana, on my 19th birthday. i have worn it everyday since.  now i wear it for two women.  the star of david charm came from my husband on the first anniversary of our first date.  one day, when sylvie is grown, i will give her both for her birthday.  she will smile, and my heart will burst wide open.

sylvie ' s swag.

our little sylvie is already getting spoiled by her grandparents!  in addition to the beautiful crib her grammy and poppy bought for her and her changing table from nana and pop-pop, she also received some adorable things to cuddle and wear.  these first few gifts were given to us right after the doctor's appointment. a sweet purple hippo from her grammy and poppy: sweet little shoes from her nana and pop-pop: my mom also brought a pair of boy's shoes just in case.  haha.  she returned them to target later that day.  we picked out the rest of these items over the course of the weekend: you may be able to tell we have a thing for pandas... i'm pretty much in love with this cardigan and its matching sunglasses: any daughter of mine needs a good pair of moccasins!  i probably have 5 pairs of my own.  i'm not even joking. i love the above onesies!  they will perfectly match the giraffe hat her grammy and poppy got her: baby hats with animal ears make me melt. we snagged this sweet little flower sweatshirt on sale!  by the time winter rolls around, sylvie will be big enough to wear it! of course, every little girl needs an obnoxiously big daisy headband to top it all off! this is just a little tour of sylvie's future style!  this kid already needs her own style blog.  yeesh! **EDIT**  i can't believe i forgot to post a picture of this onesie!  it's amazing!